Pedophobia- Fear of Dolls

Rakhi Bose a young 30 year old Bangalore resident relived a life she had never dreamt, read or known about in this life. Rakhi was someone whom I had decided to call in our last season but somehow it was not meant to be and this time around she was first on our list. So don’t despair if in spite of sending your mail you haven’t got a call. If your problem strikes a chord in my heart you will be on our Samyrath.

Rakhi’s fear of dolls began since she was a toddler. Her mother got her a doll as her first gift as most mothers would. Her mother remembers that Rakhi would cry and wail every time the doll was brought close to her. Initially the family did not realize the reason for her discomfort but as they kept noticing the situation when her crying occurred they zeroed it down to the doll. Her brother whenever wanted something from her would get the doll out and Rakhi would plead to him, ‘Take it away.’ This struck me as unique. Her best friend who accompanied her on the show never bought a doll for her daughter to honor her friends fear as Rakhi had said that she will not visit her again.Rakhi has never touched a doll in her life.

The object related fear is special. The object is harmless and inanimate but the thought, vision and sudden appearance of it will evoke a fierce reaction. This reaction could be emotional leading to the subject crying and feeling sadness; it could be kinesthetic whereby there is a pain, ache, motor movement or flailing of hands like in Aryans episode. Sometimes the fear enters the person’s dream world and in Rakhis case she would see heads of dolls flying in the sky. The fear was active in the physical reality and in her altered reality state too.  The object obviously contains a story which the conscious mind has no way of knowing. In Rakhi’s case she had no way of knowing where this fear comes from. This lack of knowing magnifies the fear. This happened to Rakhi for the last many years and so the fear was visible on the surface.  The mention of the word doll would get her into frenzy. I decided she was a good subject. What is within is on the surface… this is the irony of fear.

Rakhi’s first image was of cracked earth and dark feet. The woman she identified with had white hair and wrinkled skin. She was able to feel that there was no wind and the place was hot. She was lying in an AC set where the therapist was feeling cold but just a foot away Rakhi was feeling hot. This is the magic that the mind holds.

She began the session when she sees herself older and so it is important to retrace her life to when she was younger to know about the details of that life. When she is taken back to when she was 10 years old she sees herself wearing a long black dress with white ribbons. The year that came up for her initially was 1253 which later got adjusted to 1853. This does happen as I ask the person the digits of the year at various times till it becomes steady. Rakhi could also feel her body contour as being under developed maybe under nourished. Consciousness can know the shape, size and health of the body.

She identified the place by reading the name in Hindi a language that she is not very familiar with. Madhavpur is the name that she has never known about. She has never visited this place which is today known by the name Savai Madhopur. A river flows there which is also a feature that she had no idea about. The arid dry terrain came up very clearly for her. The early death of her parents forced her to live with a man who was much older to her. He gave her shelter but also exploited her. She was unable to break away from his clutches and had many children. The physical torture was experienced by her and as she moved ahead saw her many children playing outside the hut. She then begins to experience childbirth and sees that her old husband is sacrificing the infant who looks like a doll to mother earth. This is a ritual done by a certain community in India to please the rain gods.

 This is an experience which Rakhi saw and experienced so vividly that she was moved by it to tears.

The closure for such a powerful session is very important. Her inability to have a good marriage today has leaded her to a divorce. Children are not part of her life at this moment. For such a person to experience a past life is not enough but forgiveness is primary to never let this happen again. She was taken to a heavenly space where she met all her children who had allowed them to be sacrificed. She asked for forgiveness for her helplessness and promised to never again allow anyone to oppress her. She will take charge of her life and allow a child to come in this world to nurture and care for her.

After the session we decided to get a doll on the sets to see the reduction of the intensity of fear. It took her by surprise but slowly with love and therapeutic skills she was able to hold the doll and carry it with her home.

Rakhi Bose was a wonderful subject who surrendered herself to the therapy.  I feel very grateful for her presence on the show. As you read this I am sure you must be thinking of how consciousness holds the awesome in its grip.  All of you must undergo a past life session to unravel the mystery that is YOU.