Every time I begin to decide I remain undecided. I look around my sphere and then my thought begins to ramble. It shifts left and right. It moves slowly, gingerly climbing itself into some ambiguous cliff while sometimes I feel it is just being thorny and hard, and I cant get it out of my mind. When this conflict happens I wonder Am I decided?. Am I sure? As this thought comes I wonder again and the thought having a lease of life intricately weaving itself challenges me. U.G.Krishanamurthy, my childhood guru said ,”Thought is your enemy.”Today I understand it. But today I also question the power of thought; uncertain, indecisive thought!
All of us at some time or the other have experienced the power of indecisive thought. It’s powerful! Paling all other desires the thought generates so much of force that its clout over our mind is supreme. When this moment arrives I have found it very motivating. I sit and watch the play of thoughts pandering the original indecisive thought. Every thought like a wave wants the indecision to ride on it .Lets go with a simple example; For parents when school admission for their tiny tots are to be considered there is mayhem in their minds playground. The eternal conflict of should I or not gains momentum. Various questions begin to be thrown inwards. The mind begins to formulate thoughts so cleverly. If you observe them they are all the same. Wearing different robes the thoughts are confusing you. One thought says, “Its good, everyone from the area goes there.” At that time the contradictory thought pounces, “No, the child should be put in an IB school. Its good for the future.” Armed with some reasoning that has arrived from indecision the wife approaches the husband.
Placing the argument before the spouse there is a quick rejoinder, “I don’t think it’s a good idea, our finances don’t permit IB.” Smartly the thought brigade has fired another volley. From the admission decision now the talk has moved swiftly to finances. The indecision continued to another volatile topic. As the discussion reverberates so do the persons. The wife jumps on the opportunity to deride her in-laws. “Well, if we don’t spend on your family then maybe we could send her to the IB school.”The husband now has the perfect chance to ridicule his wife, “What! There was never a problem first with my family, how come suddenly this is pinching you.” The wife is not to far behind,”I was never comfortable with you supporting your wayward brother, but I allowed you to but now, it concerns our child. You need to think.” Wow! The wife has now succeeded with transferring her indecision to her husband.
She is at peace. The husband with his furrowed forehead stomps away. He has to sleep now. Anyway his Sunday has been ruined but at least he can catch a nap or the week will begin and he would have not rested. The decision is left to be made virtually. The above is the scene that we have to avoid. Jumping the decision leads to utter confusion. This scars the ability to take your life in your hands. If we could just see the power held in the moment of indecision many problems could be solved. So brace yourself for some key modifications that you need to make when uncertainty plays truant.
1) Sit down. Place your hand on your heartbeat. Hear it beat. Close your eyes and just breathe gently to make the palpitations more harmonious.
2) Take a piece of paper and write the question that is making you feel queasy. E.g. “Admission of my child”
3) Look at it. Write the answer- Get into an English Medium school.
4) With the answer written, begin to write the other requirements that you have.
5) Objective demands :
- School bus should be present.
- The fee structure should be affordable.
- The school must have extracurricular facilities.
- The school should be closer to home.
- The medium of instruction should be English.
- The class composition should be not more than 40.
- The school should have a reasonable playground.
- The curriculum should be on par with other state schools.
- The school’s performance has been commendable for the last 5 years.
6) Subjective demands:
- The children should be from my socio-economic class.
- In my kitty party I must be proud of the school
- My child must be able to move around in a certain society.
- The friends he makes must be from a higher society.
- My husband will have to earn more.
-IB schools upgrade your child in society.
- More money will be needed and we have to stretch ourselves.
- It will be manageable.
- If my neighbor can so can I.
- the future of my child will be brighter is he goes to the IB school.
I am sure there are many other subjective reasons that your mind is going to create so that the decision is made.
7) As you write the subjective demands allow the mind to pause and breathe deeply.
8) Both the partners must sit together and view what has been written. Assess whether the demands are valid. Ask yourself, “Which school did you study in and has it turned you into a wimp or a winner.”
9) STOP and ASK “How many doctors, engineers, IIT graduates come from IB schools?”
10) How much of personal growth and empowerment happens in schools? How much of it happens in a loving and caring home? How much of it happens when the child’s abilities in extra curriculum is encouraged?
11) Now sit back and decide. Stick by your decision. Make the decision mutual.
12) Include your son in the decision making if he is above the age of 12.
It is a wonderful time when decisions are to be made. It gives each one of us an opportunity to harness the powers of our rational thought. You can rein in the rambling and snip off the thorns. It can give you an insight into the power of your uncertain mind. It can aid in family’s developing co-operative co-existence in all situations. Apply the same strategy to planning vacations, parties, weddings and outings. The smallest decision to be made can house the strategy to train your mind. You don’t need to wait to meditate to harness your mind power but it can be done at the most stressful times. This is when you realize that the yogi in you has begun to surface. This harnessing of the thought is no less than meditation. You are so focused that all else escapes your attention. Meditating when there is indecision is empowering. Think you have to go to a party and cant decide what to wear. Use the strategy and the decision will happen. Are you dressing for yourself or for the host? If for the host then how are you going to be happy?
Give your mind some muscle…stretch it and watch it decide. It will always decide appropriately.
I tried this exercise while i was trying to decide on an issue...sometimes i keep on going back and forth on an issue in my head and stretch it unneccsarily. this usually gets me very restless ans strung up..so i've been trying to work on that.. thts where i thought of trying this exercidse..and of course it did work but in a very unexpected manner.. i connected with my angel.:)) i had been trying to seek my angel or hear my inner voice, amongst my usually overflowing thoughts, since i've become aware of the possibility. Thank you so much for sharing these exercise, your thoguhts,insights and experience with us,it illuminates our path..
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