Relation shit to Relationship- The see- saw that marriage sits on.

Those who have been reading the articles since a couple of months must have realized that I write from a spiritual space. Recently I read that astronomically in 1972 there was an explosion on the sun resulting in the sun now being about 13 degrees out of alignment with the planets. It is said that the sun represents the masculine principle and the planets the feminine. If so we could say that the masculine and feminine principles are out of sync, they are not in harmony. If we take the principle,” As above, so below”, we can come to the conclusion that this imbalance must also be reflected in the male female relationships here on planet earth. This does sound a possibility as since the last three decades the battle between the sexes has taken center stage and gained in momentum over the years. Everything in this universe is interlinked. Nothing occurs in isolation. Relationships today are the tools for effecting enormous spiritual and personal growth.

In a world today where chaos rules, aggression is seen as a means to survival. People use this mode to make gains in the outer world. When they achieve a fair amount of success through this, it is seen as a workable solution solver and they find it a quick and effective way to solve problems on the home front too. With reduction of patience and tolerance this has become habitual reactionary pattern for couples in relationships too. Each person believes that his way of thinking is the only way of perceiving the ground on which they tread. Couples tend to spend a large amount of time trying the get the partner to look at the world through their eyes. Thus the relationship begins with an imbalance of power. Each partner sitting on either ends of the see-saw. One partner looking down on the other, controlling where the balance will shift next. Can trust feature in such a relationship??  

The other debilitating symptom, which plagues relationship, is doubt. Many women say about their men- “I don’t know if he will always love me” or “He was so different when we met and now he has changed. I can’t recognize him.”  Recently a young girl all of 28 years told me- “There is no guarantee in marriage and I see this as a big risk!!!! Another one told me, “who wants One per Do free’- meaning the boys parents. It’s not only the women but men who speak about the inability to let go of their bachelor parties and roving eye and see no harm in surfing porno sites to satisfy their excessive sexual energy. Checking their spouse’s mobile is done without thinking it is an intrusion in the wife’s privacy. One husband told me,’ what privacy does my wife need, she is at home all day.” The pervading self-centeredness is visible in all today. Only I am the firm resolve in relationships. Mutual consideration is not even considered. Where does that leave commitment?? Thus humans will have to consciously make a choice to understand the dynamics of relationship from a spiritual aspect. What is the purpose of close intimate relationships???

It is amazing how little we understand the changing face of humanity. Can anything remain the same?? The world that exists outside exists within. The reason that couples go to hill stations for their honeymoon is to try and recreate the beauty within. Places have energy that helps in bonding. Is it possible to create that magic within your home?? Yes, if you live consciously. Those marriages that make it to the golden anniversary must be doing something to last a near lifetime. They do not expect their partner to be responsible for their life. In such a marriage each partner is committed separately to making the vow to be in the marriage. They have taken it upon themselves to continue doing and saying positive and energizing words which will impact their relationship in a positive manner. There is a deep understanding that the person whom you fell in love with has had to face many trials and shattering of his personal expectations. The anger or irritation that your partner feels may have nothing to do with you or your behavior but something to do with his personal unmet goals. But the other partner takes it personally and feels that all that is spoken is being directed at her. Listening skills reduce and then the wife only listens to the voice in her head which says,” Your needs are never going to be met,” “Leave him and move”, “You are not worth this.”

The need of the hour is to change the way the relationship is being perceived by the two people involved in this relation shit.

 Unless the person in the relationship does not change the lens of looking at the problem, all change is superficial. Also if they expect that this problem has to be fixed then they will be disappointed as the couple will have to see the change as a constant process. Marriage as a relationship is in a constant flux. At one moment everything feels great at the very next all hell breaks loose. Marriage as an institution is age old but the rules to survive in it have changed.

The need to respect the efforts put in by the partner must be acknowledged. The efforts may have been very small but just the fact that someone whom you love sees it and spells it out helps. Some husbands will say- Do I have to praise my wife’s cooking everyday? It is so false. The husband obviously doesn’t understand that to maintain a marriage the couple will have to work on it continuously. Also whets the harm in praising your wife’s cooking??  Some males think it’s not the truth so why should I say it. Interesting as the same man may turn around the next time and say to his wife,

 “Why can’t you just fake an orgasm so I feel good?” Recognize that you are using double standards in your life.

 When relationships begin to deteriorate it always includes a third angle. This third angle most people believe is another person. But most of the times in my practice, I have seen that this place is occupied by many other factors.

 70% of the time it is work... the man is wedded to it. His need to perform and become appreciated for it in terms of promotions, kudos from the boss, climbing the ladder of the illusionary niche and belonging to the ever-growing fraternity of work-o-bores takes priority. The second factor is the greed to have more, more of the same thing. The marketing mantra of “don’t be santhust’ has been taken literally. Thirdly having someone in the work place with which you can share your woes just makes the spouse redundant. Unfortunately this is now more and more applicable to the female too. So the marriage see –saw includes two people both who want the same thing. Interestingly this should not have any problem, but it is???

Raima (name changed) is working in a multinational and drawing a five-figure salary. Her husband sushant (name changed) works long hours too and also draws a five-figure salary. They have recently bought a house and furnished it with the help of an interior designer. Their closets are filled with designer wear and their refrigerators with goodies. They take trips often and are concerned about which party they will be invited to next. This couple belongs to the neo riche generation who both has a dream to be where they are today. So in their words, “We both have fulfilled our common dream, but we don’t seem to be happy. We are constantly picking on each other, blaming for small things and finding faults. We are sick and tired and think we should separate.” As they spoke about it their body language was distant. First they sat quite far away from each other. Secondly they didn’t make any eye contact or acknowledge what each other said by turning their face or nodding their heads when the other spoke. Thirdly when one person spoke the other would butt in and say-.”But that’s not true actually....” When you distance from your partner physically it does not take too long to feel disconnected and in time disowned. The reason why the relationship began in the first place does not exist any longer. Touch is the first sensation with which we connect to our world when we enter the earth dimension and this is what we need to keep connecting to it- through the relationships. We will only remember those who either hugged us or abused us. Make a conscious decision to attract love by hugging those you love.

The new age wave that couples are riding on is maybe incomprehensible for many. The reasons are plenty both emotional and material that make couples don’t see eye to eye but the changing face of human relationships must be understood as we enter towards 2012.

 Being a Spiritual Life Coach, the understanding of the change is the first step in making relationships committed. In the last decade there has been a shift in the way people view commitment. We must all know that there is a masculine and feminine side in all of us. Each one of us has to become aware and appreciate that this makes us whole. To negate one aspect does not help is integrating the relationship. The reason that we attract someone s energy in our life is because we have little of it. We need it to move in our evolutionary pathway towards wholeness. Appreciating aspects the other person brings into your life will do this. If it is financial security that you are fearful about and that is what your partner completes you with appreciate it instead of saying a million things that you actually don’t need but think you do because what you get is not attended to. If your husband loves you but is not financially secure, complement him by helping to burn your kitchen fires but don’t make it an issue for separation as you needed love and you got it. Recognize what completes you in a relationship and you will be able to appreciate and reward your partner.

Remember if a man wants to dominate he may actually get a dominating wife, as he has to learn to tone down his reactions. His wife will be his guru who will teach him what he has to learn. We learn from those with whom we have a problem or they would not be there in our life.

“Move from relationshit to relationship, the journey begins with a smile and hug”

                                                                    

The Power of Uncertainty

Every time I begin to decide I remain undecided. I look around my sphere and then my thought begins to ramble. It shifts left and right. It moves slowly, gingerly climbing itself into some ambiguous cliff while sometimes I feel it is just being thorny and hard, and I cant get it out of my mind. When this conflict happens I wonder Am I decided?. Am I sure? As this thought comes I wonder again and the thought having a lease of life intricately weaving itself challenges me. U.G.Krishanamurthy, my childhood guru said ,”Thought is your enemy.”Today I understand it. But today I also question the power of thought; uncertain, indecisive thought!

All of us at some time or the other have experienced the power of indecisive thought. It’s powerful! Paling all other desires the thought generates so much of force that its clout over our mind is supreme. When this moment arrives I have found it very motivating. I sit and watch the play of thoughts pandering the original indecisive thought. Every thought like a wave wants the indecision to ride on it .Lets go with a simple example;  For parents when school admission for their tiny tots are to be considered there is mayhem in their minds playground. The eternal conflict of should I or not gains momentum. Various questions begin to be thrown inwards. The mind begins to formulate thoughts so cleverly. If you observe them they are all the same. Wearing different robes the thoughts are confusing you. One thought says, “Its good, everyone from the area goes there.” At that time the contradictory thought pounces, “No, the child should be put in an IB school. Its good for the future.” Armed with some reasoning that has arrived from indecision the wife approaches the husband.

 Placing the argument before the spouse there is a quick rejoinder, “I don’t think it’s a good idea, our finances don’t permit IB.” Smartly the thought brigade has fired another volley. From the admission decision now the talk has moved swiftly to finances. The indecision continued to another volatile topic. As the discussion reverberates so do the persons. The wife jumps on the opportunity to deride her in-laws. “Well, if we don’t spend on your family then maybe we could send her to the IB school.”The husband now has the perfect chance to ridicule his wife, “What! There was never a problem first with my family, how come suddenly this is pinching you.” The wife is not to far behind,”I was never comfortable with you supporting your wayward brother, but I allowed you to but now, it concerns our child. You need to think.” Wow! The wife has now succeeded with transferring her indecision to her husband.

She is at peace. The husband with his furrowed forehead stomps away. He has to sleep now. Anyway his Sunday has been ruined but at least he can catch a nap or the week will begin and he would have not rested. The decision is left to be made virtually. The above is the scene that we have to avoid. Jumping the decision leads to utter confusion. This scars the ability to take your life in your hands. If we could just see the power held in the moment of indecision many problems could be solved. So brace yourself for some key modifications that you need to make when uncertainty plays truant.

1)   Sit down. Place your hand on your heartbeat. Hear it beat. Close your eyes and just breathe gently to make the palpitations more harmonious.

2)   Take a piece of paper and write the question that is making you feel queasy. E.g. “Admission of my child”

3)   Look at it. Write the answer- Get into an English Medium school.

4)   With the answer written, begin to write the other requirements that you have.

5)   Objective demands :

-          School bus should be present.

-          The fee structure should be affordable.

-          The school must have extracurricular facilities.

-          The school should be closer to home.

-           The medium of instruction should be English.

-          The class composition should be not more than 40.

-          The school should have a reasonable playground.

-          The curriculum should be on par with other state schools.

-          The school’s performance has been commendable for the last 5 years.

6)   Subjective demands:

 - The children should be from my socio-economic class.

- In my kitty party I must be proud of the school

-  My child must be able to move around in a certain society.

- The friends he makes must be from a higher society.

- My husband will have to earn more.

-IB schools upgrade your child in society.

- More money will be needed and we have to stretch ourselves.

- It will be manageable.

- If my neighbor can so can I.

- the future of my child will be brighter is he goes to the IB school.

I am sure there are many other subjective reasons that your mind is going to create so that the decision is made.

7)   As you write the subjective demands allow the mind to  pause and breathe deeply.

8)   Both the partners must sit together and view what has been written. Assess whether the demands are valid. Ask yourself, “Which school did you study in and has it turned you into a wimp or a winner.”

9)   STOP and ASK “How many doctors, engineers, IIT graduates come from IB schools?”

10)                How much of personal growth and empowerment happens in schools? How much of it happens in a loving and caring home? How much of it happens when the child’s abilities in extra curriculum is encouraged?

11)               Now sit back and decide. Stick by your decision. Make the decision mutual.

12)                Include your son in the decision making if he is above the age of 12.

It is a wonderful time when decisions are to be made. It gives each one of us an opportunity to harness the powers of our rational thought. You can rein in the rambling and snip off the thorns. It can give you an insight into the power of your uncertain mind. It can aid in family’s developing co-operative co-existence in all situations. Apply the same strategy to planning vacations, parties, weddings and outings. The smallest decision to be made can house the strategy to train your mind. You don’t need to wait to meditate to harness your mind power but it can be done at the most stressful times. This is when you realize that the yogi in you has begun to surface. This harnessing of the thought is no less than meditation. You are so focused that all else escapes your attention. Meditating when there is indecision is empowering. Think you have to go to a party and cant decide what to wear. Use the strategy and the decision will happen. Are you dressing for yourself or for the host? If for the host then how are you going to be happy? 

Give your mind some muscle…stretch it and watch it decide. It will always decide appropriately.

Parenting New Age Consiousness

‘ Every parent needs to look at fulfillment as an ultimate goal in bringing up children’

‘Every school needs a counselor,’ has been the objective by the educational department. Slowly society that is responsible for children is waking up to the fact that there is guidance required to raise children. There is a need to open parent guidance centers if we have to raise well-adjusted children. The reason lies in the spiritual discrepancy that lies between the two concerned parties- parents and children. My psychotherapeutic work is concerned with transpersonal psychology, which deals with personal consciousness, and it understands.

 Parents feel some amount of doubt over their parenting skills and teachers have to go in for a refresher course to be a better guide. All adults seem to be under the weather when it comes to bringing up or teaching kids today. Somehow the methods that were used before are obsolete today. Obedience, compromise and respect for time are values of the past. Why? What has altered today for this revolutionary change to occur? 

Developmentally or physiologically has the nervous system changed? Is the size of the brain larger, are the limbs more elaborately designed or are the hormones being secreted at a faster rate? The humanoid man has evolved slowly over more than 3000 years and now the acceleration is faster than ever before. Not only genetically but at the level of perception too it is becoming visible.  Can our eyes see wider distances or our ears hear at faster frequencies? The Bible mentioned 4-6 colors but today we see many more.  We don’t see beyond UV light or infra red, we don’t hear beyond 50-20,000 on the scale of vibration but this is all going to change in half a million years. Are we as parents or as a civilization prepared to make the shift? Whether we like it or not this change in consciousness is going to happen.

Itzhap Bentov a Boston based researcher explained the shift in consciousness  in a very scientific manner. Let us use the statistical method of  the Bell curve diagram to demonstrate this.

Curve A1 is what intellectual quotients were before 30 years while A2 is the proposed shift that is being made. When we look at A1 we see that the middle of the curve or the bulk of the population 30 years back when the intelligence test WISC was revised in the year 1974 indicated that children who were between the IQ 90-109 were average performers. This meant that children at the lower end of the curve are below average and a certain percentage at the upper end of the curve is highly intelligent. This range would include the rare minds like Newton, Einstein and others like them who were considered to not fit into the normal scheme of functioning. They lived in another realm of reality where things appeared different. Their minds were at some time considered insane and many had learning disabilities. They were the new age kids then- disobedient, hyperactive and considered to be the back benchers as they were unable to study the way it was taught then. They were spiritually aware and alive and so able to connect to they’re higher self and get messages that were then translated for us mortal men.

 Today many more Einstein’s exist as evolution is pushing its way to the right. As you observe the curve A2 it is shown that the Average that was 30 years back now falls in the lower end of the curve and children today with IQ 90-109 are not doing that well in schools and colleges because this is no longer the average required to cope with an exponentially developing world. The Einstein’s are today the average while the curve ends and leans towards a generation that is developing who are already more evolved and adapted to performing at a more higher plane of consciousness. These children are unable to fit into mainstream and considered learning disabled. Are they really learning disabled or are we disabled to teach them? Who is responsible? The education and society at large who are falling in the below average category of the Bell curve.  Are parents who belong to the lower end of the A1 Bell curve really equipped to deal with these new age kids when there exists a large discrepancy in the interpretation of reality between them.

In the past 15 years the percentage of children diagnosed as having attention problems, hyperactivity and behavioral issues has increased and the reason is related more to the inability to understand the reality that they are coming from. The abilities that are characteristic of the highly evolved are what they possess and so they lie at the right of the A2 Bell curve. More evolved, fast thinking and creative. We will have to match up to them not get them to match up to us. Adjustment is the inappropriate term to be used if we have to evolve.

We as parents have to understand that our children especially those who have been born after 1990 are evolving at a very fast rate. They are visual, creative and learn with the speed of light. Their minds are truly like the cosmic sponge- open and all encompassing. This is the reason that they cannot adapt to the slow tortoise pace which the pen supports. They need laptops, visual aids and a different exam routine where they are challenged to think divergently. More mentor programs where a professional who integrates what is learnt in schools provides information to them.

 For the next 20 years we are going to ride on an Age of Experience and this will be reflected in their behavior. Kids responding style will be-  “I will do and learn” rather than “ learn and do”. Parents will have to support this with providing a controlled environment rather than a strict one. It is important to understand their need for friends and the exchange of information and affection that it provides. The need to experiment is linked to their interest in the material world as they come from a more spiritual realm of creation. All that is fast- fast cars, loud noise, vibrant colors, psychedelic lights and more partners will enamor them. It’s all about stimulating their senses. The way parents can guide the new age kids are to allow them freedom and teach them the value of it by being the appropriate role model. Use the word No to a minimum. Replace it with ‘Lets talk”, ‘ What do you think we should do’, ‘ Is there another way to solve this’. The power of choice is to replace the power of chance and this should be explored with our children. Our children are more spiritually inclined and will be the torchbearers of a very enlightened tomorrow. In my work for the past 23 years I have seen how all my children who had ADHD or Learning Disabilities have not only been successful but are the most loving and caring children I have ever seen.   

 The nervous system is evolving and the picture of reality is changing. The evolutionary movement will continue to push us beyond who we are today and will in time gravitate us to an elevated consciousness where higher realities are manifested.

Evolution is like digestion and circulation. It just happens. Whether you like it or not we are moving towards an amazing time. We just have to flow with the tide for if we don’t we are sure to drown.

“ Like snowflakes, we are all similar though different. The more we recognize this reality we can transcend it and move further in our evolution”.

The Age of Arjuna

All of us on the path of this illusionary existence at some time or the other begin to ask ourselves the question, ‘who we are and what are we doing living this life? As we begin to hear this question we begin to get lost in thought. Pondering over it, many options begin to come up. Thoughts which are like wild horses begin to flint across our mind terrain.

Generally people would respond –‘to work and provide for the family, fulfill their needs and make enough money and retire well.’ Some will say something like,’ See my children through their careers and settle them down’.  I have met many who believe get married and have a happy life while the young brood today  feel marriage is over rated and say they want to live life in the fast lane. Some will speak about travel and seeing places but most will nonchalantly insist – making lots of money.  A few will say to be happy and be at peace. Nothing of the above is wrong or right. All of us have our own priorities and work towards them diligently.

 While on this karmic path we come across many crossroads and plunge into conflict. Should I buy a car now or save enough for the wedding of my son. Should I get married now or wait for my promotion. Should I wait for my child to go to full day school and then start working? Should I turn 40 and then decide to pursue my dream of playing the guitar. Should I keep a cook so that I can concentrate on returning home and spending some relaxed time with the family? Must I wait for a reward to come my way or grab it? Relationships get embroiled and baked in the pursuit of our desires. Why must my father love my brother more than me; Why is my wife not being loyal to me; what wrong have I done for my grandfather to leave all his property to my cousins; is it the right time to have a child or should we wait. Is it time for me to turn religious?  The list is endless. It begins with the mundane and goes to the sublime. We get caught in I should or I should not’s.

 These conflicts enmesh our life and make us into these doubting creatures for which nothing seems to be going right. Our mind continuously moves like a ping pong ball and returns without much reward. This continues and similar to the conflict that got the great archer Arjuna to ask Lord Krishna as he stood on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, his hands folded in front of the Lord for deliverance. He was caught in the eternal battle of should I or should I not. He like most of us attaches our source of happiness to our family and friends. We begin to believe that our existence is entrenched in their happiness. We grow up with feeling upset and guilty if we are told, ‘It’s because of you  ...that I feel so bad.’ We begin the futile journey of pleasing others so that no one points a finger at us. We are in this constant conflict of wanting to feel safe from the barbs thrown at us. Our confidence goes for a toss and we begin to create in our mind a distorted self image and in time to come an unreal world view.

Our world view is one where people are out to make us feel small and insignificant. The swarm of faces are looking at what wrong I am up to.  I must believe the comments of my contemporaries for they know best. My parents are experienced and so their choices must be mine. If the newspaper headlines scream, ‘Corruption is the King’, then I must be wary of the next head honcho I meet. After a few years I get caught in the web of deceit I have created with my belief. I am now this creature I refuse to recognize and surprisingly the world tells me, ‘You have changed!’ I wonder, when did they have the time to notice?’ so now like Arjuna my conflict is visible to me and I need help.   All along I let the world pass by me and refused to take active action so that I could be happy. I never thought I should be happy. This was one should I could have achieved without anyone’s help.

Are we not all Arjuna’s caught in this war of should I or should I not? All around us we are surrounded by what is questionable, confusing and possibly disturbing.  There is a constant search within us to do what is approved by society and yet we question the very society‘s hypocritical stance. When a child scores good grades he is applauded while in the next exam when the marks don’t come the same child is ridiculed. The conflict begins in the mind of the child. Who am I? The marks at the end of the year define my identity or are my marks only a small fraction of who I am? The wife rewarded by her mother in law for the delicious food she has made is the very next moment humiliated for her laziness. The husband awarded brickbats for forgetting his wife’s birthdays is cajoled to take her out for dinner. All of us are consistently caught in a dilemma. Just like Arjuna who needed to decide on whose side he was on we are also being forced to take sides. This is making us very uncomfortable. We are also being told to string our bow and shoot. Who is telling us? Society norms, cultural dikhats, parental conditioning, peer transactions, personal ambitions, material desires, family pressures, childhood expectations or ghosts from the past. The inner voice says, Let it be; let it go; it’s not worth it, but alas! We are so mystified by personal indulgence and excitement that our dismay is subtly turned into pleasure. This leads us into a quagmire of delusion and the war begins within our mind. We sacrifice our inner voice or divinity or Krishna consciousness and become perplexed. We forget who we are and exist in mayhem.

 My Guide Manu whispers that  The Age of Arjuna will last the next two centuries and the upheavals will be encountered in all sections of society.  There will be a rise of disorder and delirium in the relationships between mankind and nations. Misunderstandings and uncertainty will bring forth the Kurukshetra between our minds. Explorations of the surreal will emerge in a big way. The ability of people to delve into the inner crevices of the soul will be nurtured.

 We the Arjuna’s will slowly walk away from conflict. We will learn that the voice of wisdom lies within us and he will begin to search inwards. For the next Sat Yuga to rise there is still time but all the Arjunas of the world will unite and begin the process of change and transformation by 2050. The warriors have started standing up. They are visible with their fierce determination, broad interests and emotional questioning. The smart and manipulative Durydhanas are on their way out. Scams and secret deals are going to be exposed and their conniving ways will take them to the gallows. As Arjunas we have to motivate others, show and act our roles so that many follow us and take heed of the New Age.

There are a few arrows to get us on target:-

Ø  The path of service must be explored and experienced. Each one of us must do voluntary service in orphanages, missionaries and begin the formations of New Enlightened Workspaces where each person becomes an angel of light and walks their talk.

Ø  Our home is our playground of primal emotions. We must bow down to all who live with us every day. Say to them, ‘I bow down to the lord in you.’ Treat them exactly how you would worship the Lord.

Ø  When someone gets angry with you prepare a shield in front of your physical body. As soon as the nasty words are fired with great compassion allow them to reflect back. Your calm demeanor will encourage the opposite person to stop quicker than before and very soon he will release the futility of his reactivity.

Ø  Every night begin to sit together in a circle with all your loved ones. Hold hands and close your eyes. Just allow yourself to feel the pulse of the other. Begin to transmit a positive confident thought, ‘From this moment you are feeling confident and caring. You are flowing with the divine energy of love and loving every moment of your life.’

Ø  Before you sleep for a few minutes allow and accept who you are. Say to yourself, ‘I allow and accept who I am. I am an infinite and multidimensional image of ALL THAT IS.’

Ø  As your day begins to include some of these actions your karmic script will begin to transform and from your disturbed or confused present you will tread towards an amazing bright future. All of us will progress towards light... the light in us and embrace the light in others. Together we will become enlightened.

“One step out of darkness propels the world into light”  

When God Appears

I have wondered many times about the presence of God.  As a young child I wondered when my mother asked me to fold my hands and eat the prasadam in front of the small idol of Krishna whether he would wink at me and play the flute. In time I obviously realized that it’s not worth waiting for God to appear but just to enjoy the sweetmeat.  As a pre pubertal teenager I was told, fast for five days and God will grant you a wonderful husband. The lure of meeting your cousin’s everyday and staying up late took the better of me and I forgot about appeasing God.  When the exams would arrive I would be told that making a garland of parijat flowers and offering it to Lord Krishna would grant you a first rank. I decided that I should try it and voila I did stand first in class for the first time in the sixth grade. The day my result was out I forgot about God. Drunk by my innocent greed I dismissed the thought of another exam.  I returned to passing by the parijat flowers without batting an eyelid. Then came the festival of Navratri and my focus was on dressing up and playing garba rather than understanding the mahima of Ma Durga. Every time I passed a temple I would bow myself folding hands and continued to chat with my friends. When a difficult period arrived I would fight and complain to God that he is not understanding, helpful and always takes pleasure in my disappointments. God was a convenient punching bag for all that didn’t happen. It was always his fault. As I grew up I decided it was best to leave him out of my life as anyway he didn’t do much. I don’t remember if I ever thought of God little more than someone who just stood and stared. I forgot him and never expected anything from him. My visits to temples stopped and apart from bowing once in a year to him out of family pressure Gods existence in my life had disappeared.

Years passed and then one rainy day more than two decades ago, my belief began to change. I still remember sleeping under the open dark sky sprinkled with a zillion stars, the soft green mushy grass cradling my body I looked up. The stardust felt as if it was penetrating my eyes. The starlight was all around me and transporting me into a magical world. Though there were a zillion stars I felt I was one with all of them. They were me and I was them. The mesmerizing sense of being one with the starlit sky was a mystical experience. My trek to the Himalayas and the camp at Jari near Kulu will always be etched in my consciousness when I first encountered God. God in his brilliance. I knew then that God existed in everything. I also realized that you just had to close your eyes and you can be one with Him. After that night every night God visits me. I have let God appear in my life. There were many incidences after this when God came with his hands open embracing me and showing me his love.

During my growing up years I volunteered at the Missionaries of Charity and while feeding the old women I would glimpse God. Their toothless smile and warm hands were so full of love. When I worked with slum children doing puppet shows I was close to God. Their nasal voices and running noses were ballooned with Gods words. I still remember the day Zubin an autistic boy with whom I worked at the Spastics Society of India stood near the school fence and kept getting excited at every bus that passed by I knew god wanted me to learn patience. Zubin was teaching me in most exciting manner how I needed to just wait for a miracle to happen. When I found that I was pregnant I thought would it not be fun to ask something from God which was quite impossible and I did. I said to him well I want a baby girl exactly like the picture on the wall and she must be left handed. Nine months later my Dingy turned out a replica of the calendar picture and in time we discovered she was left handed. God had shown me never to doubt him.  My ability to trust him increased and now it is just fun to be with him. He has shown me the power of a wish.  Years later when my private practice in clinical psychology began I would see people visit me with great hope and I would tell them look within you. Let God sit by your side and the guidance I give you will work faster than you think. Once I remember I was on my way to work when suddenly my eyes kept going to a certain banner on the road. There in was mentioned in bold letters – ‘Abortion Rs 60/-‘I never think it is coincidental and very soon behind the red bus the banner was peering at me. Just a kilometer away as I walked to the clinic the banner was right at the gate. I knew it was not there a day before but had just appeared today. This was a sign and I knew the first thing I needed to ask my young client was if she had gone through an abortion secretly.  As I put forth the question to her she was left speechless. The board outside my hospital was pulled out in the evening.  Innumerable such miracles later I knew God is all around us. He whispers through the breeze and like essence fills our life with fragrance.

Recently a friend told me an experience about how God visited her. She was travelling in an auto rickshaw in Delhi. It was foggy and she was in a hurry to catch her flight to Mumbai. A street urchin barely visible insisted that she buy a plaster of Paris statue.  He was giving it to her for fifty rupees. Without much ado she just thrust a fifty rupee note and the signal turned green and she sped off to her destination. The statue remained covered as it was put in a box and placed with her hand baggage. A few hours later when she reached home the box was placed in the furthest corner of her bedroom on a mantle place.  Her husband arrived and noticed the box. On opening the box they discovered the bust of Sai Baba. They decided to keep it and see it as a visit by God. She says their bad days were over very soon and they have kept Baba exactly where he was placed that day. There are many wonderful and inspiring stories that are waiting to be told and I am hoping that this article will set forth a series of personal encounters with God. 

Today my scientific temperament has been invaded by the astonishing experiences that have embraced me. Meeting my husband who visited me first in my dreams years before I met him, the birth of my daughter and the death of my father  have been such powerful moments that only God could have made it possible.  When on my trek the group slipped off the snowcapped hillside and we could see the boulders appear just a foot away, God saved us by stopping us an inch before we could have crashed and died.  My encounter with jellyfishes at Goa and being poisoned by them and suffering from a semi paralytic state in the sea before I was pulled out was nothing short of a miracle. At the age of one I suffered from polio and my mother sensed something terrible was about to happen rushed me to the doctor. I still had to wear calipers and take physiotherapy for a year but recovered completely. I chose to first become a rehabilitation therapist and help children before my present work.

I am sure each one of you has encountered God and seen his miracles. I hope all of you will write in on the blog with your experiences and make this journey to understand ourselves as miraculous, multidimensional, magnificent supernovas more fulfilling.  Let us together take our selves seriously as messengers of God. Amen!