A case of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome dealt with Past Life Therapy

When we are born we carry forward many decisions that we make in our past life or lives. Sometimes that becomes our by line a mantra that somehow guides all our decisions in the present life.

 When you feel that in spite of everything that you do and say correctly things just don’t seem to move. All your efforts go in vain and at the end of the day you are where to start out from in the first place. Life seems a drag and you move towards becoming fatigued and depressed. It is possible that like Roxana (name changed) you have been carrying forward the decision that ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’. Roxana is a 54 year old woman who lives with her 14 year old son in Mumbai. She is a very intelligent and earns her livelihood working with as an insurance agent. She came to me as she had been suffering form Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a condition that is self sabotaging and destroys the very existence of a person as she is unable to function appropriately and feels pain all the time. Her background is very important to understand as this will give you an insight into how a simple decision can become your reason to live and perpetuate that feeling...

She is from a village close to Mangalore and the eldest of 10 children born to a man who was good for nothing. Her mother discovered early from the village school headmaster that her eldest daughter was the brightest and she has the capacity to study further. The father asked the headmaster that only if the school could provide some scholarship he could send her. The scholarship was granted and every month when the money was given her mother would take the money and buy ration for the house. Roxana knew that she was the bread winner of the family as her father worked sporadically. He would go to Dubai for 2-3 years return with money which her mother used to save up as the next few years she knew her husband would not work. So in effect they were always poor. Roxana grew up with little and the choice of the parents and family conditions in effect indicate that she felt that – ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’

 The decision that she made in a previous life time guided her to punish her with this situation. Her life continued with this self- sabotaging statement. She was sent to Mumbai when she was 18 years to work and earn for the family. She too without a word arrived at V.T station not knowing a single person in the city. Her father had given her the address of his friend whose home she would stay till she found a job. Fortunately an elderly couple in the compartment lived in the vicinity of the fiend and she was taken there. When she reached the place the friend’s wife refused to keep her and later when the husband called she relented and agreed to keep her for a month within which time she had to find a job. Luckily for her she got a job as a secretary in a firm. Meanwhile she moved to the working women’s hostel where she lived for more than 2 years. She used to earn 300 rupees out of which she would send 200 to her mother and manage in 100 rupees. Life was tough and she continued feeling that as my brothers and sisters don’t have much I too –‘don’t deserve to be happy’. When her friends asked her to have fun or go out with them she would refrain. Her mother two years later told her that she should get married as the younger sisters were not able to marry unless she does. Roxana didn’t want to marry but she was forced by her aunt to marry a man who was the eldest of a family of 7 brothers and sisters. Roxana knew that she would never be happy and one day just a month after her marriage she ran away. She was abused for her salary which the mother-in-law wanted. At this point there was anger and hatred towards her parents and God.

 The surprising part is that her husband never tried to find her and till date she has never met him. It’s been more than 25 years. She now just wanted to work and make a better life for herself and her family. Slowly all her sisters and brothers settled down. The wisest thing she did was to book a house. Her father decided to help initially but when the other children staked claim to the house Roxana decided to pay for the installments herself so that the house would belong to her. She felt that her siblings did not appreciate what she had done for them. This began to pain her deeply. The chronic fatigue syndrome set in. She felt betrayed and rejected. No one supported her. Still she kept her head high and lived with dignity. Her boss gave her a good post after she passed her LLB exams and this boasted her ego. All her friends insisted that she get married. She put an advertisement in the newspaper and she got an offer from a naval officer to meet her. Roxana could not believe this was happening to her. The man who spoke to her was keen to meet her. He invited her and her friends to the naval ball where she was swept off her feet by the pomp and show. This was a completely new world for her. Her friends insisted that this was the best she could have got. She too felt maybe her good days have begun. The man Hari told her that he was divorced and he had a 9 year old son for whom he wanted to marry. Roxana told him that she was looking for happiness and narrating her childhood she stated that she had never experienced love and thus will be unable to give the child more than just care. He agreed. She asked him to furnish the divorce papers but he always avoided that. She smelt a rat but somehow didn’t pursue it. She got married with the hope that she could now give up working and have a companion who would share her life with her. 15 days of bliss later Hari informed her that he had been transferred to Belgaum and his son will also stay with his parents there and she can continue her job. He will come to Mumbai once in 15 days. She could not believe that her dreams were shattering once again. The decision made in her past was again coming in her way. Her life remained just the same as before. In the next year she got pregnant. She was happy and felt that things may get normal. But it got worse. When she needed care and affection Hari was not around. One day after the birth of the baby she told him that as she was managing herself and he was not contributing in any manner to the child nor her she wanted a divorce. He without much fuss gave her the divorce. This is the most surprising part of her life. People left her without much fuss. No one created any new negative karma with her as she had so much of her own to carry. She was here in the present life to cope with her own guilt and suffer punishment for some action of hers that she had perceived as blasphemy or sin. Such a severe life is only chosen to pay back for some sin. Hari left never to return again. He has never seen his son in all these 14 years. This is also surprising and indicates the karmic connection with her son that Roxana shares. He is one of the reasons she has chosen who will help her to learn her karmic lessons and he has chosen her to teach it to him. They share a good rapport and through all these years she says he is one person who takes care of her and tends her when she is sick.

 She still suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as this is a condition which strikes people who feel their sin is so large that they just can’t get better.

Roxana came to meet me and said this was the last resort. She had tried everything and nothing had worked. Her back was hurting all the time. The pain was centered on the lumber region and nothing that she did made her feel better. Her shoulders also used to hurt her. Her health was fine and she had a good appetite. The other trouble she had was that there was a lot of burping and gas collection in her stomach. This lead to acidity and for 30 years now she had not eaten fruits as this increased it.

 She had left her previous job where she had worked for nearly 30 years and now was working as an insurance agent. This also involved traveling all the time and in effect there was no rest. This aggravated her condition as she kept on feeling that life is cruel to her. Added to this a maid would not stay at her home for more than 3 months. When the therapy began for the first time the maid stayed on for 1 year and has returned now from her vacation too.

Roxana was a difficult patient as she had never done any meditative work. Being a Christian she did not believe in reincarnation and was also not religious. She never went regularly to church. When I questioned her about her beliefs she said-‘I don’t believe that God has been fair to me. I guess I am angry with him for treating me this way’. When I explained the philosophy of how the mind, body and soul create for itself the situation that you choose she heard me out. She said what ever the form of therapy I need to get out of this pain. I will do what you tell me to.

For her first session we used the cognitive or rational approach to set her life right in the present circumstances. This helped her to cope better and corrected her thought process which became a little positive. She was taught visualization techniques to notice how her mind is working and sending her deep unconscious signals. This took some time but in a month she was ready for a past life session. Thus it is important to understand that every person who comes to me is different.

The first session she had fleeting images of the ocean. High waves crashing and she felt herself in it. Slowly as I guided her she could see the moon shinning and felt her self under the water. As she saw herself sinking she visualized herself as an infant hardly a month old. She saw as she was sinking her eyes were open and she knew that she had fallen down from a ship. She saw an aircraft moving upwards from the water. She knew that they had come to find her but now nothing could be done. She was drowning and could feel her intestines twisting. Her mouth was turning blue and green vomit was seen coming out of her mouth. The session was for more than an hour and for all that time she was burping continuously. The burping continued non stop. She was encouraged to let it all out. Slowly the burping stopped and now for more than 6 months she has had no burping and for the first time in 30 years she can eat fruits. This was a great success and encouraged her to work harder on her visualizations. A regime was given to her every morning with a tape to open her charkas and pay attention to her unconscious.

The next session she was all geared up. Her mood was better. She knew now that the power of the mind was stronger than her body and she can work her way to get better.

The next life that she visited was unique. She was guided to go within her pain in the lumber region. As the layers of her skin were being opened up and she was seen as entering into it like a miniature person she encountered the figure of Jesus. This is interesting to note that though she was not religious she would always see Jesus. This made no sense to her till now.

She saw herself as a young man. Tall and wiry and standing with a huge crowd of people – men, women, and children all standing with their eyes staring at the crucification of Christ taking place. They could not say anything; do nothing and each one of them carrying the burden of pain. She saw herself as this man who was standing and looking at the Crucification taking place. He felt sad at the happening that Christ was being crucified and angry that he could not do anything to save him. Each person standing there was feeling the burden of being alive. They possibly in different ways wanted to take some of the pain Christ felt. She saw herself as this man turning his back on Christ and told himself that he did not deserve to be happy when his God had died suffering. He was decided to be happy in little. I have done a sin by turning my back. He vowed to pay for it. The present life is a pay back time and so the same statement seems to be still alive. Do not think that this comes from only one life. There are many lives in different contexts that have been lived to fulfill this one decision that was made in this ancient life.

She felt relived that she had been unable to contact such an ancient life. This also motivated her to visit the church more often and started seeing her life differently. It was seeen as a life of service not repentance.

The other life which is interesting and where the same decision is seen was seen as a middle aged man living in Latvia in Eastern Europe. He was a scientist who was a loner. He never met anyone and everyone thought he was crazy. He had a daughter who would help him out. He had a laboratory in which he was working. He had written a book a manual about the Christian faith and had gone against the fundamental laws of Christianity. This was a life in the 17^th century when the tenets of the religious heads were being questioned. He was then standing in the balcony and there were many people who were shouting slogans against him. This did not affect him. He was then stoned and tied up. Hew had to suffer a lot of pain and humiliation. While this was being seen by her, the body was feeling the pain which had been stored in the mind body for a very long time. This pain was now surfacing and it was moving out of the system in a unique manner. The soul now could indicate to her physical presence this life where this pain belongs and that she needs to leave it where it comes from- in another life.

 The session helped her with clarity and she felt god was not trying to give her pain but she had been carrying it of her own accord.

She felt better and her fatigue was better by 30 %. She still comes for her sessions and slowly she hopes now to get better by developing insight and not blame. This is important as blame only creates the energy of negation and stops you to enjoy all that was given to us.