The Awesome London Cabbies

My three day trip to London to meet the innumerable people who have written to me after my show Raaz Pichele Janam Ka on Imagine Dil Se made big was made completely memorable by the London Cabbies.   I reached Heathrow Airport at 6.45 am on 13^th December 2010 and bracing the bitter cold wrapped up in my woolens was picked up by a cabbie that drove me to the hotel Crowe Plaza which was formerly called St. James Court. The cabbie was courteous and casual in his approach. He spoke in an English accent but then an Indian can be visible moment you set your eyes on one. I asked him if he was a Punjabi and he said, ‘Yes, but have lived here for 20 plus years and am comfortable. As the trip lengthened he continued to share with me the difficult climate and the harshness of alienation he feels from his homeland. He spoke about the isolation even from his own brood as there is no time for social rumblings. His wife is not happy but for the sake of their children’s future they have decided to live in a foreign land. The comforts he said come at a high prize. On asking what the price he pays for it is he nonchalantly replied, ‘Warmth.’

The afternoon had been planned to visit Sunrise Radio and another cabbie was going to pick me up.  This cabbie turned out to be someone who has come to London from Daman in Gujarat. His name was Sanjay and he was the only son of immigrant parents who may have landed in U.K. a century ago. He has five sisters who are all settled in UK. He kept staring in the mirror and at one point nearly severed the car to ask me for an autograph.  He was my first fan in London and I promised to click a photograph with him when we reached Sunrise Radio Station which is the most popular among the Asians all over Europe.

Sanjay went on to add to my already billowing information about life of an Indian Cabbie in London. He was constantly looking tense and when I asked him why he replied, ‘Well I must not make a mistake. Can’t speed beyond the limit mentioned on the speed board on the highway. He started to say how much he missed the life in India. He missed the neighborly love and just lazing around in his farm. He said he had come to England when he was 12 years and still missed his friends whom he visited at least once in two years. When I asked him when he plans to go home he grimly said, ‘Not now, when my son completes his education and takes up a job.’  “Well ‘. I said. ‘That will not be for the next 20 years.” The cabbie smiled wryly and nodded his head. ‘You know , the worst  thing living here is that I have to be constantly concerned about not doing anything wrong, I hardly think of what right I am doing.’ I smiled back and tapped on his shoulder urging him for a photograph and reassured him, ‘you know, when the desire is strong it will manifest sooner than you think.’ He added,’I hope so …I miss the warmth of my people.’ I raised my eyebrows at hearing the word twice

After the radio show which was a 10 minute capsule recorded with Mr. Ravi Sharma the voice of the Indian in Europe which reaches out to every heart I was later in the night dropped off to my hotel by Cabbie who was from Pakistan occupied Kashmir. He was much younger than the previous two and I was hoping he had something different to say. He strangely reiterated, ‘Well, when you are out of your homeland, see to it you don’t get into trouble. Here if you do no wrong, don’t interfere in other people‘s lives and mind your own business you are fine. Stay off others space is the way to live here.’ I was curious to know what it did to a man’s psyche when you are on tenterhooks all the time. He just looked surprised that I didn’t understand and he added, ‘Well you don’t feel warm enough and something in you just dies. But then it’s okay... I have no complains. I am happy.’ I waved him goodbye. This was an uncommon gesture and he was not used to it. I held myself back, just in case I broke the rule!!!

The next day I had to travel to Wembly a suburb in London populated by Guajarati. My cabbie was waiting down and he called me frantically as he could not wait longer as the cops would arrive and ask him to leave. There is no parking here for more than ten minutes. I rushed down and forgot to eat breakfast as I too was beginning to get worried for if he blurted out my name maybe I would get a ticket too. Well he was a Punjabi and someone who was quiet for one. I always thought that Punjabis were loud mouthed, back slapping and jovially foul mouthed. But no luck, he turned out to be very morose and cold. He just asked for correct directions and specific time when I had to reach. He checked his watch and said, ‘You will be there on time, before time if we don’t get traffic.’ I just asked him to relax and drive. He asked me to repeat what I had just said, ‘What did you say? Relax! Well that I have not done for a long time and so have forgotten.’ he looked behind and smiled. I felt relieved.  His smile reminded me that where ever you live when you see your kith and kin you smile. On disembarking I told him. ‘You know you have a lovely smile  ...use it more often and you will relax.’

The next cabbie was an older man from Chennai. He was brash, burly and loud mouthed. He started talking and never stopped till I reached the hotel Crowe Plaza which is four blocks away from Buckingham Palace.  He was certain that his choice to stay in London was correct. He had come more than 35 years ago and as a young man was very enamored by the British country side. He went on to add that he didn’t want his children to grow on foreign soil and so had sent his twelve year old daughter back to Chennai to live with his mother and he would do the same to his son as soon as he was the same age. He just wants himself to make enough so that he can provide for his family and does not mind doing odd jobs so that he can retire in peace. ‘This is no place to grow old, it has no warmth.’ I stood on the scrubbed pavement outside the Plaza waving to the cabbie and bared the cold but deep within me I was feeling the wonderful fulfilling warmth of affection that these cabbies had showered on me. They had encouraged me to continue spreading love, affection and warmth to all in London. Standing there in the frosty winter I knew that people everywhere need only to be loved deeply and wholly. People want to retrieve the warmness and tenderness that is the primal need of mankind. I entered the hotel and a burly black man with his friend approached me. He asked me if he could have a photograph with me. I didn’t ask him whether he knew me nor watched the show but unconditionally said yes. I too took one for a souvenir.

 

  The three day trip was such a super success. The work has found so many admirers that the workshop had an overwhelming response though we could not accommodate many who called in as it was a promotional workshop only.  I believe that to live in uncertainty opens innumerable possibilities. My trip was delayed by 4 days due to visa not reaching on time and I flew out of Heathrow just before the next snowstorm hit Europe. The universe knows what you need and when. We just have to do our bit in resonance with the intelligent cosmic stardust.

So see you all in South hall and Webley, Leicester and Bradford and New Castle soon in the year of the       Bravo!

Soul Role Shift at age 40

The last case that has been discussed was about a certain statement or decision that guides one life. Today I am going to talk about another case where you will see how a soul can give up on one decision that he has carried forward and in mid life generally in the 40’s that a new reason replaces the past decision and his role changes. When this occurs it is known that this role will be carried forward into the next one.

Rustom is a 51 year old who came to me because he was feeling sad. He felt that for the past 6 years he some how was unhappy though he had no reason to feel this. His career as a painter was doing well. He was loved by his mother and siblings. He seemed to have many friends and he was making money to support himself. He told me that he was a gay and had a steady boyfriend for the past many years but 6 years back that relationship broke off and he till date had not been able to form another relationship. This he felt was not the reason for his sadness. He was a very dutiful son and had been a provider for all.

Rustom was keen to find out what troubled him. He also said that he was always clumsy and had many falls in which he had injured his legs. He had stopped painting women since 6 years too. He felt something happened in the past which was triggered off what started happening 6 years ago. This is true; as you saw with Santosh it is at an appropriate moment, when you never anticipate any change that life takes a surprising turn.  

 There are 7 soul roles that our soul takes in different bodies to learn many of our lessons. Each of these soul roles will be seen in many of the cases that we are going to read about.

Rustom was the eldest of the three children. He was loved by his grandmother who thought the world of him. He was good at art but never took it up seriously as his father passed away early and he had to work hard and support his family. He started working young and even went to the Middle East to earn. Later he took up a job at a company in Mumbai. His sister was married but divorced a few years later. His brother too was a gay and seemed to find a partner and is happy now. Rustom was forced by his mother to meet women to get married and he did when he was younger. On one such meeting with young women he felt that he should have the guts to tell his mother what he felt. He came home that night and told his mother,’ Mum I did go out with the girl you have chosen but I was only looking at men. I don’t think I can marry this girl.’ The mother brushed it aside and said this tendency will pass once you get married. Rustom knew this was not going to happen. He told his mother- ‘ If my father had told you that he is attracted to men and not you after you got married how would you have felt’. His mother understood and has always supported him. His alternate sexual identity is something that he has chosen and is comfortable with. Sometimes this could be the life where some form of abuse has taken place and has affected your sexual identity. The cook in the house at age six had abused the boy. No one had believed him and later he never spoke about it till later date. The household was filled with omen and in his early days he was dressed as a girl and made to dance for fun. These ancient practices which possibly were there during the times of kings still are practiced by certain households is very detrimental to the health of young children. Rustom feels this caused this alternate sexuality.

But in the past life session he had a different experience. He saw a reality that shook him up. He initially in the session felt the abdominal area bloating. He felt the sensation in his stomach as if there was something inside. In the altered state he was shaking and trembling. He then indicated that he was uncomfortable and that he could feel an incision was being made. When I asked him to point where it was being done, he indicated the centre of his stomach. Very soon he saw that an infant was being born. When he was asked how he looked. He started to cry and said, ‘It’s still born, my baby is still born’. He also said that he felt dead. When I asked him whether he was dead he said, ‘No I feel dead.’ Sometimes the death of a child during childbirth creates the dead energy and this is what the mother carries with her all through her life and even later on if there have been no more children to soothe her. Rustom relived a life as a woman who was a widow and then also lost her child. He saw that he continued living as a woman but felt abandoned and sad through her life. When he experienced the moment of death he carried the following thought forms.

  No one cares what happens to me.

  I don’t want to be a woman and suffer.

  Children are not for me.

 No intimacy

When he was born in this life what did he choose first to feel abandoned- loss of the father to continue the thought forms that he had carried? He developed feminine traits which come from being women before. He decided not to get intimate with women. Not marry and have children. He chose to become a man so that he could control his actions and not get exposed to pain again. But the energy of the woman that he carried. Need to care, love and nurture were the opportunities that he had not enjoyed before he did now. He cared for everyone and provided for all. This is the role of the caregiver or the caretaker which many people have. They try and do things unconditionally with out asking anything in return. Nurses are in this role.

 At 41 years when his job was done his life changed. His paintings which he used to gift to his friends was liked by an art dealer. The art dealer called up and promised him his first independent art show one year later. Rustom could not believe. He did not have the confidence to deliver. But his mother encouraged him and he left his job and started painting and today is a celebrated painter. Life opened for him his next soul role which he will carry forward into his next life. This is the role of the Artist. At this moment he may be battling with issues of being not as famous as he would like to be.

 Seeing this life gave him the answers as to why he was gay. Thus sadness at himself left him and today he feels much better.

The other complain that he had come for was the injury on his feet and legs that used to occur frequently.

 He saw a life where he felt he was standing on the parapet of a building. He felt water rising up from below. When he was guided he suddenly saw that he was stuck in a lift. When I asked what kind of lift he answered – a service lift. Now sometimes in the session the person may go back and forth while narrating the incident and so guidance and grounding in the session has to be done. Then he saw that there was fire because of some short circuit. When he was asked to see where he was and from where the fire was coming, he replied that he was now in a basement and that there was fuel pipes running criss cross and he and many others were stuck in the basement. Slowly he described the situation and how everywhere there was noise. (Many people can hear and smell in the session). He experienced the rush and the stampede taking place. The fumes were growing larger and they were engulfing the area where they were standing. He knew that he was a worker in this fuel plant. There was fire and the fumes and flames moved to the higher floor where they were trying to save themselves. He felt his legs burn and get completely scarred. He and the others died in this fire and he felt completely imbalanced. The person after he dies is guided through the higher planes and to take help and messages from his guides. Rustom was very scared and after death the messages that were coming were not received well by him as he carried the feeling of defeat and abandonment which is similar to the previous life where too as a woman he felt that life is not worth it. Thus he saw two lives where he had the same pattern and thus now he needed to take cue from both these lives that he saw and do something where he needed to take risk and feel appreciated. Thus the soul role of the artist has opened where now the concentration is more on attention, appreciation, expression and creativity. He does not want to concentrate on family responsibility as a husband though he has taken on family responsibility. This also indicates that his soul level is still evolving and so immature. Thus the young soul level that he has will not allow him to take more at this point. One step at a time.

Rustom is doing well now. 3 months later he is feeling happier and he has not had a single trip or fall. He is has started painting women and accepting his sexual identity as a positive step in his karmic learning.

A case of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome dealt with Past Life Therapy

When we are born we carry forward many decisions that we make in our past life or lives. Sometimes that becomes our by line a mantra that somehow guides all our decisions in the present life.

 When you feel that in spite of everything that you do and say correctly things just don’t seem to move. All your efforts go in vain and at the end of the day you are where to start out from in the first place. Life seems a drag and you move towards becoming fatigued and depressed. It is possible that like Roxana (name changed) you have been carrying forward the decision that ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’. Roxana is a 54 year old woman who lives with her 14 year old son in Mumbai. She is a very intelligent and earns her livelihood working with as an insurance agent. She came to me as she had been suffering form Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a condition that is self sabotaging and destroys the very existence of a person as she is unable to function appropriately and feels pain all the time. Her background is very important to understand as this will give you an insight into how a simple decision can become your reason to live and perpetuate that feeling...

She is from a village close to Mangalore and the eldest of 10 children born to a man who was good for nothing. Her mother discovered early from the village school headmaster that her eldest daughter was the brightest and she has the capacity to study further. The father asked the headmaster that only if the school could provide some scholarship he could send her. The scholarship was granted and every month when the money was given her mother would take the money and buy ration for the house. Roxana knew that she was the bread winner of the family as her father worked sporadically. He would go to Dubai for 2-3 years return with money which her mother used to save up as the next few years she knew her husband would not work. So in effect they were always poor. Roxana grew up with little and the choice of the parents and family conditions in effect indicate that she felt that – ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’

 The decision that she made in a previous life time guided her to punish her with this situation. Her life continued with this self- sabotaging statement. She was sent to Mumbai when she was 18 years to work and earn for the family. She too without a word arrived at V.T station not knowing a single person in the city. Her father had given her the address of his friend whose home she would stay till she found a job. Fortunately an elderly couple in the compartment lived in the vicinity of the fiend and she was taken there. When she reached the place the friend’s wife refused to keep her and later when the husband called she relented and agreed to keep her for a month within which time she had to find a job. Luckily for her she got a job as a secretary in a firm. Meanwhile she moved to the working women’s hostel where she lived for more than 2 years. She used to earn 300 rupees out of which she would send 200 to her mother and manage in 100 rupees. Life was tough and she continued feeling that as my brothers and sisters don’t have much I too –‘don’t deserve to be happy’. When her friends asked her to have fun or go out with them she would refrain. Her mother two years later told her that she should get married as the younger sisters were not able to marry unless she does. Roxana didn’t want to marry but she was forced by her aunt to marry a man who was the eldest of a family of 7 brothers and sisters. Roxana knew that she would never be happy and one day just a month after her marriage she ran away. She was abused for her salary which the mother-in-law wanted. At this point there was anger and hatred towards her parents and God.

 The surprising part is that her husband never tried to find her and till date she has never met him. It’s been more than 25 years. She now just wanted to work and make a better life for herself and her family. Slowly all her sisters and brothers settled down. The wisest thing she did was to book a house. Her father decided to help initially but when the other children staked claim to the house Roxana decided to pay for the installments herself so that the house would belong to her. She felt that her siblings did not appreciate what she had done for them. This began to pain her deeply. The chronic fatigue syndrome set in. She felt betrayed and rejected. No one supported her. Still she kept her head high and lived with dignity. Her boss gave her a good post after she passed her LLB exams and this boasted her ego. All her friends insisted that she get married. She put an advertisement in the newspaper and she got an offer from a naval officer to meet her. Roxana could not believe this was happening to her. The man who spoke to her was keen to meet her. He invited her and her friends to the naval ball where she was swept off her feet by the pomp and show. This was a completely new world for her. Her friends insisted that this was the best she could have got. She too felt maybe her good days have begun. The man Hari told her that he was divorced and he had a 9 year old son for whom he wanted to marry. Roxana told him that she was looking for happiness and narrating her childhood she stated that she had never experienced love and thus will be unable to give the child more than just care. He agreed. She asked him to furnish the divorce papers but he always avoided that. She smelt a rat but somehow didn’t pursue it. She got married with the hope that she could now give up working and have a companion who would share her life with her. 15 days of bliss later Hari informed her that he had been transferred to Belgaum and his son will also stay with his parents there and she can continue her job. He will come to Mumbai once in 15 days. She could not believe that her dreams were shattering once again. The decision made in her past was again coming in her way. Her life remained just the same as before. In the next year she got pregnant. She was happy and felt that things may get normal. But it got worse. When she needed care and affection Hari was not around. One day after the birth of the baby she told him that as she was managing herself and he was not contributing in any manner to the child nor her she wanted a divorce. He without much fuss gave her the divorce. This is the most surprising part of her life. People left her without much fuss. No one created any new negative karma with her as she had so much of her own to carry. She was here in the present life to cope with her own guilt and suffer punishment for some action of hers that she had perceived as blasphemy or sin. Such a severe life is only chosen to pay back for some sin. Hari left never to return again. He has never seen his son in all these 14 years. This is also surprising and indicates the karmic connection with her son that Roxana shares. He is one of the reasons she has chosen who will help her to learn her karmic lessons and he has chosen her to teach it to him. They share a good rapport and through all these years she says he is one person who takes care of her and tends her when she is sick.

 She still suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as this is a condition which strikes people who feel their sin is so large that they just can’t get better.

Roxana came to meet me and said this was the last resort. She had tried everything and nothing had worked. Her back was hurting all the time. The pain was centered on the lumber region and nothing that she did made her feel better. Her shoulders also used to hurt her. Her health was fine and she had a good appetite. The other trouble she had was that there was a lot of burping and gas collection in her stomach. This lead to acidity and for 30 years now she had not eaten fruits as this increased it.

 She had left her previous job where she had worked for nearly 30 years and now was working as an insurance agent. This also involved traveling all the time and in effect there was no rest. This aggravated her condition as she kept on feeling that life is cruel to her. Added to this a maid would not stay at her home for more than 3 months. When the therapy began for the first time the maid stayed on for 1 year and has returned now from her vacation too.

Roxana was a difficult patient as she had never done any meditative work. Being a Christian she did not believe in reincarnation and was also not religious. She never went regularly to church. When I questioned her about her beliefs she said-‘I don’t believe that God has been fair to me. I guess I am angry with him for treating me this way’. When I explained the philosophy of how the mind, body and soul create for itself the situation that you choose she heard me out. She said what ever the form of therapy I need to get out of this pain. I will do what you tell me to.

For her first session we used the cognitive or rational approach to set her life right in the present circumstances. This helped her to cope better and corrected her thought process which became a little positive. She was taught visualization techniques to notice how her mind is working and sending her deep unconscious signals. This took some time but in a month she was ready for a past life session. Thus it is important to understand that every person who comes to me is different.

The first session she had fleeting images of the ocean. High waves crashing and she felt herself in it. Slowly as I guided her she could see the moon shinning and felt her self under the water. As she saw herself sinking she visualized herself as an infant hardly a month old. She saw as she was sinking her eyes were open and she knew that she had fallen down from a ship. She saw an aircraft moving upwards from the water. She knew that they had come to find her but now nothing could be done. She was drowning and could feel her intestines twisting. Her mouth was turning blue and green vomit was seen coming out of her mouth. The session was for more than an hour and for all that time she was burping continuously. The burping continued non stop. She was encouraged to let it all out. Slowly the burping stopped and now for more than 6 months she has had no burping and for the first time in 30 years she can eat fruits. This was a great success and encouraged her to work harder on her visualizations. A regime was given to her every morning with a tape to open her charkas and pay attention to her unconscious.

The next session she was all geared up. Her mood was better. She knew now that the power of the mind was stronger than her body and she can work her way to get better.

The next life that she visited was unique. She was guided to go within her pain in the lumber region. As the layers of her skin were being opened up and she was seen as entering into it like a miniature person she encountered the figure of Jesus. This is interesting to note that though she was not religious she would always see Jesus. This made no sense to her till now.

She saw herself as a young man. Tall and wiry and standing with a huge crowd of people – men, women, and children all standing with their eyes staring at the crucification of Christ taking place. They could not say anything; do nothing and each one of them carrying the burden of pain. She saw herself as this man who was standing and looking at the Crucification taking place. He felt sad at the happening that Christ was being crucified and angry that he could not do anything to save him. Each person standing there was feeling the burden of being alive. They possibly in different ways wanted to take some of the pain Christ felt. She saw herself as this man turning his back on Christ and told himself that he did not deserve to be happy when his God had died suffering. He was decided to be happy in little. I have done a sin by turning my back. He vowed to pay for it. The present life is a pay back time and so the same statement seems to be still alive. Do not think that this comes from only one life. There are many lives in different contexts that have been lived to fulfill this one decision that was made in this ancient life.

She felt relived that she had been unable to contact such an ancient life. This also motivated her to visit the church more often and started seeing her life differently. It was seeen as a life of service not repentance.

The other life which is interesting and where the same decision is seen was seen as a middle aged man living in Latvia in Eastern Europe. He was a scientist who was a loner. He never met anyone and everyone thought he was crazy. He had a daughter who would help him out. He had a laboratory in which he was working. He had written a book a manual about the Christian faith and had gone against the fundamental laws of Christianity. This was a life in the 17^th century when the tenets of the religious heads were being questioned. He was then standing in the balcony and there were many people who were shouting slogans against him. This did not affect him. He was then stoned and tied up. Hew had to suffer a lot of pain and humiliation. While this was being seen by her, the body was feeling the pain which had been stored in the mind body for a very long time. This pain was now surfacing and it was moving out of the system in a unique manner. The soul now could indicate to her physical presence this life where this pain belongs and that she needs to leave it where it comes from- in another life.

 The session helped her with clarity and she felt god was not trying to give her pain but she had been carrying it of her own accord.

She felt better and her fatigue was better by 30 %. She still comes for her sessions and slowly she hopes now to get better by developing insight and not blame. This is important as blame only creates the energy of negation and stops you to enjoy all that was given to us.